There are so many ways to describe the feeling. With each there is certainly a true relation with varying degrees of relevance. Some might say it feels like trying to get up while others push you down with full force and you never get up, others may relate it to drowning, falling, that nauseous feeling right before you throw up. My favorite is Driving a car with a blindfold on.
Everything is coming at you full force and the only thing you can really do is brave it out. Hopefully your vehicle is as good as your conviction and you're driving an armored truck. Regardless of the damage you will most likely arrive at your destination with minimal scrapes and bruises. I can relate close to this but the story is never about the scrapes and bruises, its what causes them. The imagination is never as tame as reality. We prepare for blows that will surely bring the chapters of life to a close, all for it to really not be that bad.
This is a very good reason why I love getting tattoos. The reality is that there are needles that are perforating your skin over and over to feel almost like a constant consistent scraping. I have done it plenty of times and I still get amped up, because we don't know.
We have the idea but it is very rarely the same thing.
But once the tattoo outlines and so on are on their way, you get used to it and it's just another thing.
Currently I am exaggerating my chest piece sensation which has greatly stunted the growth of that plan but sure enough I'll come to find that it wont be that bad.
The point is that we never know what hand we are dealt for each coming day. The natural rhythm eventually lays itself out and we walk the beat.
It is very important to understand the balance between the two ideas; the perception, and the reality, because it does say volumes about the character. I think about cassette tapes and it comes to me that we can waste our time just fast-forwarding through the content for that destination song and then end up missing it altogether. We are so used to the DVD/CD/MP3 format of just skipping to the next scene and getting away from the endurance trial of listening to the songs that you didn't find on the radio. It always good to accomplish something. The music flows and tells a story of our lives. Much like the decisions we make are testaments of who we are.
The bottom line is that the reality shows us the role of an act in a timeline, the perception is obviously an exaggerated scenario but the criticism comes from neglecting the fact that it is very real when lived first hand. The first kiss scenario comes to mind because it is the most basic of instinct with outlandish perception. For a man with any sense and a caring heart courts a possible lady to be there are a wide array of the end results and whatever the girl is left to assume or believe is beyond my own scope so this is all about the guy in this example.
Side Bar: I am sure there are plenty of people that date just to pass the time, but I think it is ridiculous to ignore the fact that dating leads to relationships and marriage if it does graduate to such a level. We meet someone and based on their personalities we try and see how the lives can merge into a beautiful union, and that is what dating and the beginning stages of a relationship are really, a trial to see if this is the Man/Woman that I will spend the rest of my life with. But I digress...
The poor sap finds himself in a position where he is out and about with the girl that has caught the twinkle in his eye. He is having a good time, he is himself and she's laughing. The date is going well. Time drop her off at her place and the whole time you know that she is someone you want to explore life with. You want to kiss her but you're afraid. The reality here, saying the date went well, is that she is most likely feeling him too since she agreed on the date in the first place and has hopefully has had a good enough time and feel comfortable with the little cute elementary peck on the lips. However this is not apparent to the guy in question, he is already thinking about the worst case and best case, and there in lies the problem, there is only one best case scenario and what seems like and infinite number of awful wrap ups. The most trying would be the awkwardness of mixed signals and that is never pretty.
The point is that the 20-30 minutes it takes to wrap up the evening comes with the daunting questions. Sure you'll come to find that you had nothing to worry about at all but the journey is wicked, and that balance is very important because what we are willing to go through is never disclosed information, and there is very little that we can do to communicate. So we weather the storms, keep a sunny disposition and trust that everything is going to be alright. When you find yourself in a situation that you know is going to be a big part of your life there are never doubts and the "trouble", just like the tattoo needle all just get lost in the process, and you enjoy the fruits of your labor. That is something no one can take away from you.. Just breathe and stay calm and remember.....
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