Mental Vacationing

So a week has come and gone as the fastest in my life; funny how this exclusively happens on vacations. However, I did manage to get a lot done. I saw the people that I wanted to for the most part, there are a few souls I didn’t get to see and I just hope I can see them the next time around. I’m actually shooting for an October return to have an autumn experience for once. As much as I love San Diego’s beautiful weather there are a few natural occurrences that I have built a bit of fondness for.

This week was a big one for me. I got to see my best friends, my baby sister graduate, my cousin who I haven’t seen in forever, I even made peace with my mother after years of angst and confusion I just let it go. Who knows how much longer she has with us or myself for that matter so I decided that I would make my time count.

I also learned a few lessons in life and love. I finally got closure to a relationship that had haunted me for years and am confident that my life will be much easier to enjoy.

After all some doors need to be closed so others can be opened, right? I know it sounds corny as shit but I hated being one of those people I couldn’t stand listening to about their lover’s quarrels not giving the least bit of shit but now I can put that to rest.

As always it is never enough time spent with those you care about and for that reason alone we should all take a second to reflect on the way we live our lives. Some may be in that section of their lives where it is nothing but partying and drinking all night long and that may be working out for you. Others may have the fortune of being able to have their play as hard as their work and reach equilibrium, and THAT’S awesome. For other’s sorta living on the cusp, it may be time to re-evaluate.

Call that person you haven’t spoken to in a while, or don’t. The decision is that easy. However the real work, which nobody likes to do and I have certainly procrastinated on my end, is coping with the decisions made. Some people choose not to speak to that certain someone and continue to let it eat away at who they are. Avoiding isn’t dealing. In fact it’s borderline destructive behavior. I realized how much time I have wasted being angry at shit that was beyond my control, or trying to fix things that were beyond repair.

Sometimes the broken needs to be fixed by another. When things end they do so for a reason. That cliché that tells us to let shit be and if it comes back yada yada. There’s much more truth there than I had previously given credit for and now I see why.

Now I’m sure that most people you know will be fine with living that revolving door of a life that will just constantly play back again with the same outcome over and over, and they will continue to ask why and beg for advice they will never take. But you have an opportunity to be that spark to the eventual lighting in the right direction.

Over all I had a blast in Boston, I really don’t want to leave but I have these damn responsibilities that need tending to. I’ll be back soon, maybe one day for good, maybe just for another visit. Either way I hope to learn something new.

Good Night

Our own worst enemy

Taking a look at the endings and beginning of life's most taxing and daunting tasks it is hard to find the common ground on which we would recuperate. Where to go after a relationship when friends are lost, when moving out of state, it's the high school effect all over again.

You don't know where to go or how to insert yourself to any situation. Our strives for affiliation are our own downfall. What active role will you be playing if any?

From seeing a pretty face in the distance and the time it takes to re-configure the mindset and move forward. Some pele lock up based on social insecurity. That hermit life style is counter productive as it is comfortable.

So what od you say to that group, that girl or boy? How do you conduct yourself? The problem is not the inadequate feeling that comes with being the new guy, it's our obsessive approach that we succumb to. We constantly question our own worth and approach and try to dissect our different vantage points on how to adapt instead of just adapting.

We ask for the advice that we will just as soon dismiss, mostly because everyone loves the sound of their own voice and feed off of the attention given by the outside party. I y this because there really isn't any other reason why one human being would waste another's time in such a way. I call it the high school girl approach.

It isn't easy. But much of the difficulty comes from our second guessing.

Sometimes you have to just go for it. But don't "try", that will ultimately be your downfall. Think about the friends you have already, are you well liked? Nerves will always get the best of us.

Stop being such a puss.