Monday, May 30, 2011

Our own worst enemy

Taking a look at the endings and beginning of life's most taxing and daunting tasks it is hard to find the common ground on which we would recuperate. Where to go after a relationship when friends are lost, when moving out of state, it's the high school effect all over again.

You don't know where to go or how to insert yourself to any situation. Our strives for affiliation are our own downfall. What active role will you be playing if any?

From seeing a pretty face in the distance and the time it takes to re-configure the mindset and move forward. Some pele lock up based on social insecurity. That hermit life style is counter productive as it is comfortable.

So what od you say to that group, that girl or boy? How do you conduct yourself? The problem is not the inadequate feeling that comes with being the new guy, it's our obsessive approach that we succumb to. We constantly question our own worth and approach and try to dissect our different vantage points on how to adapt instead of just adapting.

We ask for the advice that we will just as soon dismiss, mostly because everyone loves the sound of their own voice and feed off of the attention given by the outside party. I y this because there really isn't any other reason why one human being would waste another's time in such a way. I call it the high school girl approach.

It isn't easy. But much of the difficulty comes from our second guessing.

Sometimes you have to just go for it. But don't "try", that will ultimately be your downfall. Think about the friends you have already, are you well liked? Nerves will always get the best of us.

Stop being such a puss.
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Thursday, May 19, 2011

Someting in a smile... some assembly required..

Plastic Surgery Slumber PartyImage via WikipediaVisually speaking the female "set-up" is so much better than that of any male. Maybe that's why I'm not gay.

In any case I think about the daily interactions that I deal with.  In SoCal it is easy to find a woman with an amazing backside-although you'd be hard pressed to find this in some Mexican women, but I digress.

With the explosion in plastic surgery and other aesthetic enhancements big tits are amassing like nobodies business, and as much shit I get from my friends I'm just not big on tits. Plainly put. I'd do just fine with a solid B-cup and a great tush. Tho some do look amazing with the larger set, I should be so lucky.

Other aspects that drive my attention are legs and this has been played to death, also not the point to this post.

A smile delivers much more than any other body part can bring to the table. A great smile can promise so much if on the right face. I know that is a really odd statement but it's true when you think about it. A smile is always the first thing to catch my attention. Even better if they got the nose and eyes to further accent this phenomenon.

At the end of the day the smile is all that matters. Think about, for a second, all the shit that women cake on their faces. By the time you wake up in the morning next to that pseudo-playmate that you picked up at the bar or night club the night before she now has an awful pasty-faced ghoulish creature that has no eyebrows and smells like a tanning salon.

The bottom line is that there is no substitute for a beautiful set of teeth and sensual lips. This goes beyond any sexual desire more so it is just a pretty face. One to be admired with no agenda. A simple glance in the direction of such a sight can relieve all your stresses.

If you know anyone with these features and they make you feel the way I have illustrated, is it too much to go over and engage? The smile nowadays has dropped in value faster than the American dollar. Between reality shows and stupid Real World-esque shows only leave the mindset that those busty bimbos with future liver problems are what is to be desired and acquired accordingly.


I call Bullshit!!!

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Monday, May 16, 2011

Everything is just hunky-dory

Whatever the hell that means. Time stands still sometimes in the retail environment, I'm convinced of this. You find yourself trying to occupy yourself with little activities that bear no importance.

You know work is bad when you go to the bathroom and sit on the toilet for a half an hour and you don't even need to shit.

Instead you play time wasting games, browse the web for photo-blogs, check your email 40 times without anything new coming in. Some will even go so far as to pick up smoking just to get a feeling of accomplishment.

We all have our poisons, vices, and guilty pleasures. Thankfully I haven't plummeted tot the point of masturbation in the restroom. But the progression of the day almost begs for a David Carradine.

That's how daddy likes to get down..(Not Really.)

The faces become blurred, I don't even ask for names anymore.

It slows down to a point where I'm just excited to speak to another human, regardless of the buying condition.

Everyone seems to work in the computer field yet have no fucking clue how the hell to program a contact in their flip phones. Old folks come in looking for smartphones that their grand-kids have and act like you just handed them the Holy Grail when you put some touch screen doohickey or Blueberry in their palm to "give them ownership" of their new product.

At least that's what they teach us in training when in reality we are just owning the customer with their painful hours of questions while everyone else in the place is making money.

So much for the up-sell.

Then you have the asshole that walks in at the most dead point in the day who laughs and exclaims

"Oh man I got the whole store to answer my questions!!!"

That's enough asshole don't waste my time with your idiocy just buy your son who acts like your daughter an expensive phone that wont see life past three months.

The monotony takes its toll but it also finds a way to pay the bills..

Till I find something better everything is just Hunky-dory.
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Sunday, May 15, 2011

The Passing Lane Theory.



When driving, you automatically choose the lane with the fewest cars so that you can speed by and get to work, home, or even a hookers house. I don't know I'm not judging. 

In any case reading online you can find different theories of human behavior that lead into speeding up passing and, once pat the mass of vehicles waiting to get off their respective exits, going back at the original pace in front of the traffic. It also mentions that with no real gain other than a mental sense of accomplishment, someone will do the same to you. 

We are all just trying to get by. 

However my passing lane theory deals less with the physical road on which we drive and more so the path we take in life. 

I'm guilty just as most every one else for wishing days away and hoping that the weekend comes fast and the work week witless away with the desire to finish. This holds true for days off or maybe even an event that we are counting down to. 

The bottom line is that we spend most of our days wishing them away due to the daily "hassles" of work, school, whatever ails you in the current state. Tis sort of wishful thinking can really be harmful if not kept in check. By that I mean looking at the opportunities at hand. I get being at work sucks. If given the chance I would much rather write all day and make a living even if under meager conditions, at the very least I'd be happy with what I'm doing every night. 

I see Facebook status update that beg for the weekend to come; before you know it we are 30-something and lacking any real substance to life. We just want the day, and all subsequent days till the desired calendar day, without so much as a thought to what we are giving up. 

I know that this isn't true across the board but to see if it applies to you, think about how many times we've justified putting life by based on our moods. Rather than taking on an additional task that may enrich their daily experiences. For some it comes in the form of working out or joining some fitness program, others find school as an activity but again this isn't the point here. 

The point is to find something that inspires creativity. One beautiful blonde once told me that the people we should include in our lives should enhance or simply put: make us better. I was almost a shocking wake up call to life. I took an inventory of those I was previously involved with and realized that most of the stress came from those I didn't even really care too much about. I know this may sound a bit heartless but looking closely you may see those that are in your life almost as auxiliary components in life without the benefits of support. 

You know that person that only calls you to see what's going on, and yet when you need something you'd be better off bottling smoke? That may be a kinship worth revising or scrapping all together. If you're anything life me you might have a hard time taking in this information, and you'll probably procrastinate until the next episode where you find yourself secretly playing tug of war with a brick wall with the promise that someone else has "got your back".

Unfortunately the truth is far less attractive. But soon you'll notice the difference. This was made most apparent to me when I moved out west. Ever have that thought about who would come to your funeral today if you died yesterday? Finding the answer was much easier moving than dying. 

At first I thought it was a bit of a depressing thought but soon found without too much surprise those I had in my life that would eventually miss me just as much as I would miss them. It's good to have close loved ones. 

I had spent so much time in the passing lane that it was time to do something radical. Im not saying that everyone should just pick up and move. Family and friends will be a solid anchor to hold us down, and maybe that is what we need to re-evaluate. Find some purpose you never knew you had before. Luckily I found a muse to subconscious voice the decision process in my head to help me try out different things and spice things up.

So get up and do something, chances are its better than whatever you're about to settle for. 

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Saturday, May 14, 2011

Sun God is My Homie!

It came to me one morning that I didn't want to do anything at all. The day was to be mine and mine alone. I quickly found this to be boring so I texted a fellow blogger and good friend of mine to see what was the current happening. I remember him saying something about some Sun God festival. I asked him if he cold get an extra ticket or whatever was necessary to enter said event. He told me that he had a plan and to meet him at his place. I packed up a few necessities and all substances that may be appropriate to honor Ra, or Annu if you're of the Egyptian persuasion, and I was on my way.

This meeting did not come with its hiccups, during and planning process, but I'll get into that later. As hastily as I had driven over we had paced up from his place. Apparently he had an in at the festival. I figured it was a coordinator.  I later found her to just be another patron to the event.

We sped off in a crazy race against time. Literally. It was nuts, and if I had to go I would have shat myself. The plan was this: I was going to get dropped off on campus so that he could go and meet up with the contact. He actually gives me his phone and shows me an image with the anticipation that I may run into her before he.

"Remember her face, go up to her and tell her you are friends with me. Stay close to her, anchor yourself."

I flicked through Facebook photos that had nothing to do with a clear shot of her face. I kept thinking this is some CIA trained spec ops shit. I knew I had abandoned all hope; So far. We arrive and part ways at the shuttle bus stop. His tires screech in his departure.

I could see the inebriated faces awaiting their shuttle to cart them off to rest and recovery. I try to find a place to settle where I would be the least intrusive. I try and make small talk with the college attendees only to receive awkward glances and smiles. Foreign students are so socially awkward.

A few more stumble past by and bump into me. I'm done with this crowd. I find an empty bench, and I sit and wait. I'm coming down from my buzz from earlier. I'm tapping my feet feverishly waiting for the coming fleet of shuttles to empty their contents with the hopes of recognizing this mystery escort. After several buses and no sign of my friend of the escort I decided to abandon my post.

I got up and surveyed the area. I saw a path of grass in the direction of the festival and figured it was time to begin my journey with the Sun God. I lay with my hoodie over my head sparing me the discomfort of the dry grass' pickle against the back of my neck. I had my aviators on. They were a new pair and were very dark. I could barely make anything out of the brightest of conditions. The sun poured over me evenly and equally tranquilizing. I took out my phone to check if I had missed my buddy’s call. There was nothing, bus after bus. At least at this point I was comfortable and lucky enough there was enough eye candy out and about. It almost didn't matter that they could barely understand me.

As I lay in the grass I just wondered about the progression the day might have. I liked the idea of being invisible. Keeping my hood up and glasses on even throughout the night. As I thought more about this, I felt a vibration in my pocket. Someone was calling me. I picked up and it was my buddy Moose. He began frantically,

"Where are you I need you to walk directly adjacent to the shuttle stop.."

I quickly looked around and found his loud green shirt; I hung up on him as I started in his direction along the concrete.

He introduced me to the escort and company. I don't remember the names. It was a guy and girl, seemed to be involved somehow, and yet looked casual.

We walk. We gather a crowd and pick up food anticipated the long haul. I am introduced to more people who's name I don't remember especially this one middle eastern girl that was certainly all about me but Moose had ruined that for me. I will eventually forgive him (It's all good Bud).

The to somehow manage the wrist bands so that they were easily removed, they had three metal prongs that needed to be bent to allow movement-this is done with my puppy's old I.D. tag and a hand cuff key that I had on my key chain, and passed on to allow us to enter; very simple process, very difficult delivery. It was definitely one of those situations that it sounded harder than it was but pitching the idea to a mass of drunken college students eager to get laid was a hard sell. The girl became irate because she couldn't comprehend Moose's and as an ace tried telling him that once she was in she'd send some help. Lyin' Bitches.

We found ourselves on the roof of the office sections to get a buzz going and formulate a new plan he remembers that we ran into a buddy of his earlier and he gave him a ring.

While waiting for the reply we had gotten pretty wasted, at this point I'm convinced that if for no reason but utter defeat, in a relatively short amount of time. It was almost a complete loss because we were to also sneak in a few other friends later on and if it was this difficult to get us in it may have been impossible to get them. Then the phone went off.

His buddies had gotten back to him and let hum know that they were just laying low till the last act of the show. And with this we had our in. We met up with them at one of the campus's mess halls and laid out our plan. Thankfully these guys were as bright as we were and obliged immediately.

On the way to the entrance we ran into a few cute college girls who actually approached us with an offer to sell a wristband. This bought us so much more time because the other party had shown up and we had the opportunity to make this one quick shot.

Giggity.

I was among the first group to go in. Moose would do the running since he knew the campus the best. That is a completely different blog altogether (I hope ). It was almost like after hours of sidetracking and borderline failure we had everything go right for us. I'm walking through the checkpoints showing my wristband when the thought of how asinine it was to have a limit on the amount of attendees the concert is to have. I walk onto the field. I can see tents set up in the distance for food water, porta-potties even these crazy stall like urinal setups. The field is broken up by two stages: one is playing crazy techno and dubstep music; the other has the evenings talent. Both sections were roaring with energy as the drink kids sprinkled in between. It was almost like walking between two realms of music separated by sound waves and bass lines as Jimmy Eat World and some D.J. in a new era fitted cap collide in the infrastructure. 

It was so surreal. Tossed in the mix are flashbacks to some ice coffee drink, me laying down in the dirt, me again-this time dancing in a large crowd with my glasses on reflecting the laser show in the air as it mixed with the fog and steam, a lap dance, and losing my friends. But in the end it was all worth it.

More so the night taught me an interesting lesson. Sometimes when we allow others to lead on an expedition, you'll find yourself embarking on a journey you'd never otherwise see. The catfish in our lives make it more interesting.

Create your next adventure

Good luck

Goodnight.

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Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Elementary mentality


Dear Lips of something past,

As these cliche words make phrases

I'm racing the stop watch

I swear the next time we meet time will stop,

All the while I'm re-inventing my childhood

Bringing Me back

Step one

Step two

This heart beat races beating the pace car on this drive home

You're riding on my arm And so they say.....

The left hand vessels lead to the heart

I beg to differ

It seems for the next 15 minutes My heart is being held by my right

Step three.....

You're poker face is giving you away as you fondly look over your shoulder

Step Four

My expression is full of suggestion

Don't worry baby girl this sharp turn has nothing on your sharp tongue

But I'll keep you safe,

The honks and horns drowned out by your smile

And In this light I adore you

I'm an 8 year old Man, without a path, without a plan

It say this tanks half full but I'm running on fumes and dreams

Step Five.....
 A long kiss goodnight that'll keep me grinnin' til the sunrise

Keep me smitten over your Ed Hardy's and how you look so cute in skinny Jeans

Thinkin about how my hearts hanging by a thread through our window of opportunity

Step six

I see you walkin away..

Walk around the bed for one more fix of this night cap kiss

I think my smile sold me out

But It's okay

I've got deep pockets...





Feelin Like a little boy


-Jack

Social Networking?

Cover of "Anger Management (Widescreen Ed...Cover of Anger Management (Widescreen Edition)I remember the day I first got into the social networking craze. I was in high school and one of my friends at the time had asked if I had a myspace.

"What the shit is a Myspace?" I asked, and at that point I felt a little older. Luckily for me I am quick to adapt. This is something I hope to continue so that I never feel out of date; a friend of mine used to refer to these sites as The Myspace and The Facebook, but that's a different story.

So I'm sitting there, watching her cats stalk the area. It had only been my second or third time at her place so I was still unfamiliar territory. I sat there in my Standford Hoodie passively listening to my iPod when she handed me one of her cats. Of course she had handed me the fattest fucking cat I've ever seen. This thing weighed like forty cats, it was unreal. Anyhow, the cat sat tamely on my lap as I began petting him. He purred playfully under my hand and he had that comical look of content on his face as his whiskers flew back and his nails dug into my jeans.

She takes a photo of me with her digital camera. This was before everyone had a fucking darkroom on their phones. After a few minutes at her computer she says, "Viola!"

And there it was, my digital connection to the entire world. I sat trying to figure out what the hell to put on my "about you" section, and for some reason, even now, when that section pops up I have no idea what to write. Nothing ever comes out sounding right. It has gotten to the point where people just say "Just ask" and that shit is boring as all hell.

But is any of this information relevant or true in any way? I mean really, girls talk about how they're bad bitches and drama free, bros and tools talk about how they love to party. I am almost reminded of that scene in Anger Management where Jack Nicholson's character asks Adam Sandler who he is, not what he does. It is kind of frustrating.

So what is the right information to put down? Who really gives a shit about anything that we really write? It's all so arbitrary and usually not true at all. I"ll go ahead and say most of them aren't true, I think that's fair.

I think we write the things we WANT to be true about ourselves. Most people write the basic "truths" right: Drama Free, love to live life, meet new people?

Loosely translated: My life is so engulfed in drama that I don't even notice it anymore, I drink myself retarded and black out, I only want to meet potential fuck buddies. I think that covers it pretty much.

So where am I going with this? Basically the Internet version of us is almost shittier than the real version. At the very least personality is something that is very hard to counterfeit. At first I thought that may be a bit of a reach for a statement, but its true. Someone that knows how to have a good time and is genuinely a great person to be around will emit such a vibe right away. I have had the privilege of meeting these people first hand and consider them my best friends.

But in the process of meeting new people, getting my blog out there for others to hopefully enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing it, and just spark good conversation, it has proven to be a prospect long lost in HTML programming. I find this very unfair. But is the blame on our end as users, or is it that childhood mindset of wearing masks making us invisible to the world?

A good example of this is just the other day I found a girl on Facebook, I wasn't looking for anything romantic or potentially physical, just a fellow user that had all the same interests as I and figured I'd add her. This little scenario usually plays out in two different variations: I get no response and possibly no acceptance on the friend add, or she accepts and we either talk or not.

Some girls still have the Myspace mentality of hoarding friends.

This scenario, however, did not end in either. She actually wrote me and asked if she knew me. I responded saying that I didn't, but we had almost everything in common and thought it would be cool to get to know each other, to which she responded, "don't fucking talk to me I don't know you, don't waste my time". Now I sat back and reflected on the situation, she wasn't underage, she had photos of her in a sorority tee, she had a bunch of photos with her at bars and even had a photo album that said "My 22nd". I thought about what to do. I should have probably just ignored it and gone about my business.

Have you met me?

This actually got under my skin. I tried ignoring it for a day and that's where my limit was reached. I wrote her back asking what her problem was. I was as textbook friendly as I could, although brimming with sarcasm. I asked her if she knew about meeting new people and what that entailed. I understood the general awareness that women put forth whenever a guy randomly "friends" somebody, usually that consists of some douche writing a message full of filth and sexual requests; I save that for face to face encounters.

Joking of course.

I went on to say that she should take the false information on her profile off and write only the truth, and if she was that drama free she wouldn't waste her time writing back to me in such a hostile format.

And that was really it. I didn't go to far, I didn't to scare her obviously that wasn't my intention.

My point is this: if you're a whore and only concern, and associate yourself with those who approach you with a six pack and a promise to shove their manhood down your throat till your mascara runs down your face so be it. I wont judge. Do not pretend to be something you aren't only to prove that you are a complete shitbag freak that shouldn't be allowed in any social situation.

I can go on for days about the ridiculous contradictions of the digital world. With as much potential that these social networks have, there are users that are making this a counterproductive experience.

I can't wait for the next massive social failure.

Goodnight!
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