Cover of Anger Management (Widescreen Edition)I remember the day I first got into the social networking craze. I was in high school and one of my friends at the time had asked if I had a myspace."What the shit is a Myspace?" I asked, and at that point I felt a little older. Luckily for me I am quick to adapt. This is something I hope to continue so that I never feel out of date; a friend of mine used to refer to these sites as The Myspace and The Facebook, but that's a different story.
So I'm sitting there, watching her cats stalk the area. It had only been my second or third time at her place so I was still unfamiliar territory. I sat there in my Standford Hoodie passively listening to my iPod when she handed me one of her cats. Of course she had handed me the fattest fucking cat I've ever seen. This thing weighed like forty cats, it was unreal. Anyhow, the cat sat tamely on my lap as I began petting him. He purred playfully under my hand and he had that comical look of content on his face as his whiskers flew back and his nails dug into my jeans.
She takes a photo of me with her digital camera. This was before everyone had a fucking darkroom on their phones. After a few minutes at her computer she says, "Viola!"
And there it was, my digital connection to the entire world. I sat trying to figure out what the hell to put on my "about you" section, and for some reason, even now, when that section pops up I have no idea what to write. Nothing ever comes out sounding right. It has gotten to the point where people just say "Just ask" and that shit is boring as all hell.
But is any of this information relevant or true in any way? I mean really, girls talk about how they're bad bitches and drama free, bros and tools talk about how they love to party. I am almost reminded of that scene in Anger Management where Jack Nicholson's character asks Adam Sandler who he is, not what he does. It is kind of frustrating.
So what is the right information to put down? Who really gives a shit about anything that we really write? It's all so arbitrary and usually not true at all. I"ll go ahead and say most of them aren't true, I think that's fair.
I think we write the things we WANT to be true about ourselves. Most people write the basic "truths" right: Drama Free, love to live life, meet new people?
Loosely translated: My life is so engulfed in drama that I don't even notice it anymore, I drink myself retarded and black out, I only want to meet potential fuck buddies. I think that covers it pretty much.
So where am I going with this? Basically the Internet version of us is almost shittier than the real version. At the very least personality is something that is very hard to counterfeit. At first I thought that may be a bit of a reach for a statement, but its true. Someone that knows how to have a good time and is genuinely a great person to be around will emit such a vibe right away. I have had the privilege of meeting these people first hand and consider them my best friends.
But in the process of meeting new people, getting my blog out there for others to hopefully enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing it, and just spark good conversation, it has proven to be a prospect long lost in HTML programming. I find this very unfair. But is the blame on our end as users, or is it that childhood mindset of wearing masks making us invisible to the world?
A good example of this is just the other day I found a girl on Facebook, I wasn't looking for anything romantic or potentially physical, just a fellow user that had all the same interests as I and figured I'd add her. This little scenario usually plays out in two different variations: I get no response and possibly no acceptance on the friend add, or she accepts and we either talk or not.
Some girls still have the Myspace mentality of hoarding friends.
This scenario, however, did not end in either. She actually wrote me and asked if she knew me. I responded saying that I didn't, but we had almost everything in common and thought it would be cool to get to know each other, to which she responded, "don't fucking talk to me I don't know you, don't waste my time". Now I sat back and reflected on the situation, she wasn't underage, she had photos of her in a sorority tee, she had a bunch of photos with her at bars and even had a photo album that said "My 22nd". I thought about what to do. I should have probably just ignored it and gone about my business.
Have you met me?
This actually got under my skin. I tried ignoring it for a day and that's where my limit was reached. I wrote her back asking what her problem was. I was as textbook friendly as I could, although brimming with sarcasm. I asked her if she knew about meeting new people and what that entailed. I understood the general awareness that women put forth whenever a guy randomly "friends" somebody, usually that consists of some douche writing a message full of filth and sexual requests; I save that for face to face encounters.
Joking of course.
I went on to say that she should take the false information on her profile off and write only the truth, and if she was that drama free she wouldn't waste her time writing back to me in such a hostile format.
And that was really it. I didn't go to far, I didn't to scare her obviously that wasn't my intention.
My point is this: if you're a whore and only concern, and associate yourself with those who approach you with a six pack and a promise to shove their manhood down your throat till your mascara runs down your face so be it. I wont judge. Do not pretend to be something you aren't only to prove that you are a complete shitbag freak that shouldn't be allowed in any social situation.
I can go on for days about the ridiculous contradictions of the digital world. With as much potential that these social networks have, there are users that are making this a counterproductive experience.
I can't wait for the next massive social failure.
Goodnight!
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